Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Waiting for pictures

Two in toto required pulling teeth, a concession rather than a present but eleven months and counting in between is nevertheless root canal surgery on public aid in comparison. For it intimates a laissez faire attitude that eschews any formal gratitude. The proverbial dangling of a carrot just to string along the mule. And to further mangle the saying, while looking at the gift horse in the mouth.

Which begs the question of why so recalcitrant to a straightforward enough request, though the moral dilemma it entails does seem to demoralize, awaiting for something ephemeral albeit amatory to happen.

And that probably explains her hesitation, if not outright balking simply to comply. Sure, the pat excuse about aesthetics, of not measuring up to prevailing standards or cultural ideals of marketed beauty she cites avails. Enough then to fit a narcissistic micromanagement of self-image though what does absolutely titillate is her charming modesty masked as insecurity. Control how one is perceived by limiting supply over demand.

Because such a refusal really bespeaks to succumbing to earlier urges, of then unaffiliated moments except that opportunity since knocked much too late and those coquettish exchanges before have become a guilty pleasure to be cleansed and wiped away.

But what about the cliche of having my cake and eating it, too as is the case for sugar daddies go. Even if the terms of the nonnegotiable contract are non-binding, a price must be selfishly exacted since the privilege is paid for. So money for nothing is just dire straits for how innocuous formal experiments are meant to objectively tease.

Besides, the real crime of passion would be to withhold her true allure from being frozen in time.