The saddest of possible words...

"Tinker to Evers to Chance."

Or just as worthy, Earney to Miller to Bauling to May,
Our quadruple-powered vacuum, sucking in all debris,
Cleaning dusty pathways, forever linked,
who upon summons take a bow,

ALYSON EARNEY
Defensive mainstay at third base, Alyson guarded the line and prevented grounders from becoming extra-base hits. She formed part of an "Iron Curtain" on the left side of the diamond as anything hit in that direction "got eaten up" for outs. Her quick reflexes and accurate arm in the "hot corner" forced many a hitter to pull the pitch foul, hard to muscle the ball by. Alyson upended by the runner representing the tying run sliding hard into third base in the final inning of the championship game. The runner was ruled safe on a controversial call as league rules dictated a runner is automatically out for not avoiding collision on a slide.

MATT MILLER
Named team MVP. "The General" showed amazing defensiverange at shortstop. Matt could "go into the hole and come up firing" or glide behind second to trigger the forceout at second base preventing baserunners from being in scoring position. His soft hands and cannon for an arm easily scooped up and threw out all batters on any type grounder. Other teammates could cheat "down the lines or into the gaps" because of Matt's ability to cover so much ground. In the final game, Matt made a crucial error in judgement as he broke the cardinal rule with two outs (when any baserunner ran with the pitch) to always make a play on the batter on a grounded ball. Instead of throwing to first base for what would have been the higher percentage third and final out to seal victory, Matt flipped the ball too late to force the runner at second.

TRINA BAULING
Part of the All-Star double play tandem, second baseman Trina often covered the bag with runners bearing down on her hard, intent to break up the force out or double play. Cool under pressure, she tied for the league lead in combined putouts and assists as opposing team continued to test her defense on the right side of the infield, possessing a knack for making the crucial defensive play to "put out the fire". Trina tried in vain to reposition the out-of-position short centerfielder just before the pitch that resulted in the deflected liner that lost the championship game.

CATHY MAY
The heart and soul of R & M Trucking. Sure-handed team captain Cathy threw out a slew of baserunners "going first to third" on slow rolling ground balls and ranked highest among league leaders in fielding her position at first base. Opposing baserunners respected in fear her strong and accurate arm. The team name reflected her competitive fire and blue-collar work ethic to outplay opponents. Cathy dropped a low thrown ball for what would have been an out at first base in the bottom final inning of the championship game. This error allowed Simon's Tavern to prolong their at-bat to eventually win the title.

And with heros are their counterparts, the goats.